I apologize if I have offended anyone with the quote I sent out Saturday. I guess I didn’t think about the line “expressed between a man and a woman in marriage” being stressed when the whole quote didn’t fit in just 1 tweet. I am sorry my intentions were misunderstood, as my main focus was that too often romance is looked at as the end-all when there is so much more. The bonds that can be there within a family and raising kids, as that is the most valuable thing I have: my family. I do hope however, that whoever may have been offended may know I respect everyone’s freedom to believe and live as they choose. I hope others can respect what I value most in my life as well. Again, I’m sorry and please forgive me if I offended you. David
Feb 6, 2015
I mentioned last week that I have deleted the twitter and instagram apps from my phone. Why? So I could see how much more time I would have on my hands without them.
I would, without even thinking, pull my phone out, click on these apps, and start looking through photos, and what’s going on in other people’s lives. Not only that, you come across pictures and comments of what other people think about your life. This curiosity of what others think of you starts affecting your own view of who you are, whether it be blowing things up so your head gets big, or being hurt by the very opinionated people who happen to have an opinion about every detail of your life. But that’s beside the main point.
My main point is that I think I am on my phone for 60 seconds and I look at the time realizing 45 minutes have passed by. I was wasting too much time waiting for a new update, new picture, and imagining that I am connecting to the world when really I was becoming disconnected to reality— feeling unaccomplished and a little empty after all that time with each curiosity session of snooping around other people’s lives and what other snoopy people thought of my own life.
I am on a journey to not be so caught up in what everyone else thinks. What is the purpose in this? It is to care more about what I think. The more you are caught up in what everyone else thinks, you disregard yourself. “Nevermind what I think of myself and what is going on in my life! I am too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks of me!” I feel my brain was telling myself.
These same thoughts have gone through my mind throughout all of my life. Lately I have gotten so sick of them that I decided to try and shut the voices of others off, including the ones that got stuck inside my mind. The best solution I had for this was to stop looking at everything on social media. I cannot focus on very many things at once. When I am worried about what everyone else is telling me to do, or comparing myself to what other people are showing on twitter, Instagram, and other sites I cannot focus on what my own feelings are, or what that still, small voice within is trying to tell you.
How has this been going so far? Well, my thoughts and feelings are very connected to what comes out of me musically. The more in tune I am with myself, the more music comes out. It has been refreshing to get more of my own stories out through lyrics, or even with melodies. I am discovering that the only way to get this music out is to get rid of all of the other voices from my head. When I have all of the other voices going through my mind, whatever is coming out feels superficial, dead, and empty.
Now, am I disregarding social life and contact with other humans? No! Of course not! I have actually spent more time personally with people visiting them, spending time, and catching up with friends. I just need a balance of experiences spending time with these people along with the alone time to reflect more on what’s on my mind and in my soul.
I have been creating music with many of these friends and also with a lot of great writers. I am in Nashville to be more focused on this new music project and have been forming more of this story I feel like I need to tell in the next chapter. It is exciting for me, because I feel good in the process. I don’t really know where it’s all going or where it’ll end up, but the fact that I am trying is one of the greatest feelings about it. I’m not afraid of making mistakes like I used to, and sometimes you’ve got to fall so you know what it feels like to get back up. I think getting back on your feet to keep going can be a feeling that feels even better than smooth sailing the entire time. You may end at the same destination whether you fall or smooth sail the whole time, but something about pushing through and fighting the good fight makes the entire journey all worth it—perhaps even greater than the destination itself that you were moving towards.
What I am basically trying to say is I need silence in order to function. My quiet time is valuable to me. Everyone keeps asking me how things are in Nashville. I say “It’s really nice. It’s quiet.” Part of this is because I have decided to make this quiet time for me, but also this town is a place where I feel peace.
Whoever may happen to be reading this, I would encourage you to try this yourself, and delete your social media apps even if it’s for a couple of days and see how much more you notice about yourself and life in general. You’re not going to die without it, even if at first you feel like it and that you’re “behind the times.” It’s worth it. Trust me. Next week I will be back in Utah for the RootsTech 2015 convention. I will be singing a few songs and also premiering the music video I shot in Costa Rica last Summer. It’s a song I wrote that’s actually in Spanish, and is about finding yourself by looking in the past. If you’ll be there, then I suppose we will see each other then.
Jan 13, 2015
First Blog for 2015
It has been a while since I have made a blog, but I had to get through a few things before I could open up again to everyone. I have still been writing and working, and in the next few months will continue doing that, as I am really excited to find the right story to tell this time in music. However, before you can understand what will be coming, I have to be honest and open about some things. This is going to be a long blog, but I have a lot to get out. The next time I do a blog, it will probably relate to what is shared here.
I was always having to put myself out there because everyone was hounding me to do it. It was very unnatural for me to do it, because I have come to realize that I’m a very introverted person. Constantly forcing myself to be talkative, animated, on the camera, etc. for the sake of all of you getting to know me only pushed me into a corner of letting all of you get to know someone who wasn’t even myself. It has really bothered me over the years.
I am someone who is slow, takes incredibly long to make decisions because I need time alone and to think about things. I have needed this time to think about things because I never cared enough about myself to give the time before my mission, and no one else cared enough either. As I was in the wave after American Idol, touring, making appearances, the only focus was trying to make everybody else happy and in the process I lost myself. I’m so grateful for the mission because I found myself again, and not only that discovered so many new things.
I understand I have not been very open about what I have been up to with updates, blogs, pictures, and all of that, but I have been trying my best to share as much as what feels right. You are getting to know who I really am: someone who hates being the center of attention, likes quiet and away time, and doesn’t mind being alone, unless with a couple of people at a time to really get one-on-one time with close friends and family. That doesn’t mean I am anti-social. I love meeting people, but I also love my privacy and my own time. Sometimes I enjoy putting myself out there, but not at a forced level just so I can try to be more popular. I will try to be better about showing all of you who I really am this year through music and through updates, but I needed to teach myself that it’s ok to be myself and not try to “dress to impress.”
After events, shows, and meet and greets, I would always have to go straight into a room, bathroom, closet, anywhere where I could be alone. It was draining to me. It doesn’t mean I hate it, but I was overwhelmed because I neglected my own feelings and thoughts. I would awkwardly try to find ways of being energetic, but I felt so fake. I’m sorry, but after these 2 years away and feeling comfortable to be myself, I do not want to be the suck-up type just so I can get more fans, more likes, more attention and fame. That stuff never interested me in the first place, although I tried making everyone else around me happy who was interested in all of that. I am David. I love life; I love learning; I love sharing; and music is a way I express my passions and what is important to me. Obviously I want to get that out to as many people as possible, but it’s worthless to me if I only do it for the secondary goal of getting music out to as many people as possible and giving up the prime reason of sharing who I am, my art, my passion, and what matters most to me.
Where I’m at now:
I am still trying to unravel all of the knots that have been in my brain. I was so overwhelmed last time I was in the spotlight in front of all of you. I felt like I lost myself as I got caught up in trying to please everyone, because I disregarded what I cared about–what I thought.
It’s nice not having to keep trying to figure out how be something that I am not so that everyone will like whatever that is. I have come to realize that no matter what you will never make everybody happy, but you can make the most lasting impact on being yourself, and most of all out of all the people it will impact you are the one who is most impacted for the better. For the longest time, I tried to keep it on the down-low of who and how I really was because “I must not be likeable”, but it feels nice to just be who I am and live according to what has always been most important to me.
I know I may disappoint people for not being as interactive as before or who I showed myself as before, but man is it refreshing to not have to apologize for who I am and care about upsetting people anymore just because I am not what they want or expect me to be. I have different things that I find satisfaction in, and I like my peace and could care less if I am getting everybody’s attention for the sake of fame. That may have been what everybody else around me wanted out of me, but now I have decided to take into consideration how I feel, what I think, and what I want because yes, I do matter. My own thoughts, opinions, feelings, and ideas are good enough because they are my own and are for me. No more having everyone tell me “you can’t, you can’t, you can’t” because I am too young, too naive, too inexperienced, too stupid, too whatever else you want to say I am. I’m not willing to give up myself just for the sake of pleasing someone who wants something different from what I do.
December got busy with the Holidays. I had an amazing trip in Spain and France where I got to sing Christmas songs for missionaries who served just like me. It is not easy to be away for the Holidays without any family, just as it was for me on my mission for 2 years. I loved bringing a piece of home to the missionaries there as it meant a lot to me while I was in Chile to have pieces of home brought to me. Aside from seeing the missionaries, I also had some Christmas performances in Lyon and Bordeaux, France and Barcelona and Madrid, Spain called Christmas Devotionals. I loved it.
December had a lot of unexpected things going on and I got a little behind with my writing and creative-process with music, but now I am getting back into gear. To understand where the music is coming from, you have to understand where I am coming from personally as well.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Something that hasn’t changed about me is that when I do start talking and sharing, I get long-winded. I know a lot of you may have wanted video blogs, but I express myself much more easily through words. I hope the music that comes will be something that you can feel is real. That is my goal, and it always has.
Dec 14, 2014
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